Smith's Monthly #9 Read online

  Dr. Hassatt, Ernie, and Ed stared at the hieroglyphs.

  “What does it say?” Danny asked.

  “Hopefully it’s an exit sign with an arrow,” Craig said.

  “From the greatest city,” Dr. Hassatt said.

  “No, highest city,” Ed said, stopping him.

  “I agree,” Ernie said. “Not greatest, highest.”

  Dr. Hassatt studied the carvings for a moment, then nodded. “From the highest city, power flows to the many.”

  “The forth Hydra Journal entry?” Danny asked, sick to his stomach that it looked like the trail to rescue his father would end right here, in a cave deep under a jungle.

  “More than likely, yes,” Dr. Hassatt said. “The ancient people wrote very little in stone. This is written in an early form of Egyptian hieroglyph, as the others were.

  “Well, that’s that,” Craig said, sitting on the edge of the Great Council table. “That’s not going to lead us anywhere.”

  Dr. Hassatt looked at Craig, then at Danny and laughed. “Of course it is.”

  “From the highest city, power flows to the many,” Danny said, repeating the phrase. “Assuming we can get out of this cave, how is that going to help us?”

  Again Dr. Hassatt laughed and even Ernie and Ed looked puzzled. “Danny, your father and I both believed that this ancient civilization existed, and we both believed that it spanned the globe and was of a high degree of engineering and civilization before it died off for some reason. Many different races are descendants of this first civilization, and many races built in their ruins.”

  Danny nodded, as did Ernie and Ed.

  “That was in my father’s notebooks,” Danny said.

  Dr. Hassatt pointed back at the images carved in the stone over the great stage. “The highest city?”

  Suddenly Danny realized what Dr. Hassatt was talking about. “Machu Picchu?”

  “Exactly,” Dr. Hassatt said.

  “But wasn’t that an Inca city?” Craig asked.

  “Later,” Dr. Hassatt said. “The Incas took it over, built new parts, and made it their own. But there is much evidence that the city was older than the early Incas.”

  “Power flows to the many?” Danny asked.

  Dr. Hassatt shrugged. “That’s something you’ll have to figure out there.”

  “So the next clue is in the Andes?” Bud asked.

  Danny nodded. “Looks that way.”

  “Great,” Bud said. “Glad we found it and figured it out. But right now we’re trapped a long ways underground in the center of Africa with bad men stalking us. First things first, I always say.”

  None of them had an argument for that.

  Continued next issue…

  Science fiction, action, adventure, lust, and a ton of sexual innuendo. This story hits it all and even more.

  Mike Blackmoon, son of the famous story-teller, Howling Blackmoon, tells the story carefully following his father’s instructions.

  This story inside a story features Buckey the Space Pirate, but not the same Buckey as later stories with the talking oak tree Fred. Who know there were two Buckey the Space Pirates?

  A very different version of this story appeared in the anthology Alien Pets back in 1998. I added in a pet to get the story into the anthology. I like this, the original version, much better.

  AS THE ROBOT RUBS

  MY NAME IS Mike Blackmoon. And I got this story.

  It might be called a romance, but it’s not a romance.

  Some folks might call it a mystery. Nope. Wrong again.

  If the story were printed, some stupid bookstore owner might stick it in the horror section. Slap that person with rolled up page proofs.

  There’s just no way this story can be anything but science fiction.

  That’s right.

  Science fiction with sex.

  Of course, in science fiction, all the sex is like a Norman Rockwell painting. But it’s still sex, so what the hell.

  My daddy, Howling Blackmoon, was the greatest storyteller to ever sit beside a campfire. He always said that if you want to hold a listener’s attention, you gotta start your story right in the middle of the good part. So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

  “Don’t stop,” she panted.

  How’s that for a start?

  I’ll bet right now your mind is skipping right along with pictures of a young, big-chested girl, a must in science fiction — breathing heavily as this young space pirate named Buckey nibbles on her ear while at the same time unbuckling his blaster.

  Buckey is a real ladies man in his white tights, white plumed hat, and black boots. He also wears a sabre strapped on one hip and a blaster on the other.

  Now, if you’re thinking Buckey is going to take off his blaster, you’re wrong.

  Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

  Buckey is nowhere to be seen. What’s really going on is that this woman named Sarah — who is an escaped slave from the horrid Alien prison camp — is telling her fellow escapee, Loreina, the main character of this story, to keep running toward the ancient hidden ship. Sarah has decided that she must stay behind and hold off the prison guards in the narrow desert canyon.

  Loreina argues with Sarah for only a moment, then gives her one of those looks.

  You know the look.

  The same deep understanding look that every mother has when she sees wads of used Kleenex in her teenage son’s garbage can.

  You know... THE LOOK!

  Loreina hugs Sarah.

  Only a sparkle of tears form in their eyes. (It’s the desert so they can’t waste much water.) Then Loreina turns and runs up the canyon while Sarah faces the quickly approaching Alien guards who will for sure either (a) kill her, or (b) torture her, or (c) do whatever else mean and nasty Alien guards do to young women in science fiction stories.

  At this point, it is a good story telling technique to jump forward in time. Or, sometimes back in time to explain the good time all the characters had getting to the present time.

  Of course, anytime you jump in time, you must let the story listener know you’re signaling time out.

  In the movies, they do it with fade-outs. In fiction, they use white spaces. In this case I’m just going to pause.

  (Pause)

  Pause for effect, then hook the listener again, my old man used to say. (He could tell a whopper with the best of them.) So, being a good listener, I’m going to follow old Blackmoon’s advice and jump back into this story right at the most interesting part.

  “Don’t stop,” she panted.

  I bet I know what you’re thinking. Loreina is sitting in the copilot’s chair (Right?) of this small space ship (Right?) while the handsome Buckey (the space pirate who rescued her from the prison planet) nibbles softly on her big toe and then starts working his way north.

  Right?

  Don’t you wish.

  Remember, this is a science fiction story.

  What’s really going on is that our heroine (An aside here in the middle of this sentence: My daddy once noted how close the word heroine is to heroin. Heroin is defined as a powerful sedative drug. He told me to think about it. End of aside.) is laying naked, face down, with only a towel over her butt (Don’t want to get the story teller too worked up, now do we?) on a massage table back at Galactic Headquarters while a robot carefully works all the soreness out of her muscles.

  Leaning against a post (yes they have posts in Galactic Headquarters) is Loreina’s boss and possible future love interest, Jerome.

  At least their love might be possible if they don’t find out that they are really brother and sister later in the story. (Of course, you might stop and ask yourself why Loreina would be interested in anyone by the name of Jerome. But I wouldn’t. It would just complicate the story too much. Trust me that Jerome looks like no Jerome I ever met. Besides, Loreina likes the fact that he doesn’t wear underwear under his tight-fitting Galactic uniform.)

  As the robot rubs, (Note how swift the title
worked in.) Loreina tells Jerome all about how she and Sarah were captured when they were zapped by a Lomax Ray which shut down all their food processing and bar equipment, as well as their main Wild-Blue-Yonder Drive just as they were about to learn how the dreaded Aliens were managing to steal fruit off Eden, the most heavily guarded planet this side of the core.

  Jerome just shakes his head, so Loreina goes on to tell him about how horrible it was in the Alien prison and how Sarah stayed back so that one of them could get through with the message and get a good massage.

  Again, Jerome just shakes his head.

  He knows Loreina likes the strong silent type in her science fiction.

  He also read on her job application for heroine that she liked men who didn’t wear underwear.

  Loreina gives Jerome that serious stare, raising up on one elbow so that she can see him better — and he most certainly can see her better. (The robot doesn’t notice. Stupid robot.)

  She then tells him, in a very deep tone, that she must return to save Sarah if Sarah is still alive.

  She (Loreina) just can’t leave her (Sarah) there in that awful place (the Alien prison), she (Loreina) says.

  Again, Jerome just nods, never taking his eyes off of Loreina’s boobs. (Which means that while Loreina talked, he had moved his face right up against her chest and, as in all good science fiction sex scenes, it is now time to fade out, white space, or pause, and thereby miss all the good description that follows when Jerome removes his eyes from her chest and puts other body parts there.)

  (Pause...damn it anyway.)

  “Don’t stop,” she panted.

  Take your mind out of the gutter. I am not starting the story back on the massage table where Jerome and Buckey the Space Pirate have drawn a dotted line down the center of Loreina and are having a duel to see who can get their half the most excited.

  I wouldn’t do that in a science fiction story. Besides, Buckey likes his women whole.

  But during all that white space around the last pause Jerome has done the regular man-like, middle class, try-to-take-over-the-story thing and told Loreina that she can’t go to rescue Sarah. He has assigned her to a desk job in Galactic Headquarters where he can keep her under his thumb (as well as other parts).

  Loreina didn’t take kindly to that kind of shit from above, so, not really being a “company” girl or terribly fond of the missionary position, she captures a guard at the space port and is following the guard up a long, circular staircase in the launching tower of the new Bigger, Longer, and Taller spaceship.

  The BLT has nifty screens that make the ship almost invisible to Aliens and block out the aliens Zapper Beam. That will allow Loreina to get close enough to the prison camp to rescue Sarah and still have lunch.

  This part of the story opens as the guard stops suddenly in front of Sarah halfway up the huge tower. (There’s a lot of stairs and they’re both out of breath.)

  Sarah keeps him going and then, at the top, once she has gotten into the ship, she stuns the guard. As he falls, she notices that he too doesn’t wear underwear under his tight-fitting uniform. (The guard, who is a friend of Jerome’s secretary, also snuck a peek at Loreina’s application.)

  Of course, at this point, Loreina is heavily occupied with stealing the ship and getting Sarah out, so, with only one mouth-watering glance at the guard, she jumps into the Captain’s chair, straps herself in, and blasts off.

  Blasting off should not be noted here with a bunch of noise.

  She just floats up through the rain clouds quiet as you please. The drive on the BLT is very silent and doesn’t need a match to light it.

  Real advanced science fiction stuff.

  Of course, out in space, she gets chased by the entire Patrol Fleet, which happened to be home on leave. She doesn’t want to Atomize them (or even fire a warning shot across their bows) because she knows The Patrol is on her side, and that some men in those ships may have read her application.

  Instead she does a few really nifty moves around the sun, looses about ten pounds when the inside of the ship heats up, then pops off through the Time Warp Instant Trajectory.

  When in the TWIT, no one can follow, so she’s safe.

  Next she goes about getting herself ready for instant sleep to pass the sixty-four days it will take to reach the Alien prison world. She strips down to only her skimpy bikini underwear and a sweat-soaked tee shirt and crawls in.

  The last thing you see is her breathing slowing as she passes out and her nipples get hard.

  And again, you guessed it, it is time to...

  (Pause)

  Now where should I open the next part of the story?

  My daddy said never let a listener down. If you’ve got someone’s attention, don’t disappoint him, especially toward the end of your story. So, following old man Blackmoon’s advice once more, I return to the story at a “good” part.

  “Don’t stop,” she panted.

  God, don’t you just love an exciting story?

  I mean, imagine Loreina there with Sarah and Buckey, The Space Pirate on the filthy dirt floor of Sarah’s cell in the Alien prison. The three of them are tied up, naked except for Buckey’s white hat.

  Buckey has one foot between Sarah’s open legs and his other foot between Loreina’s open legs. He’s working on untying the girl’s ropes with his toes.

  Of course, his heels are making the escape a somewhat pleasurable experience for both women.

  Now that you’ve imagined all that: dirt floor, moldy smell, low moaning, and all, I’m glad you got it out of your system because that’s not what is going on. Remember... science fiction story?

  I know, I know, I hate repeating myself, too. But sometimes I must, I must.

  In the real story, Sarah wakes up after sixty-four days, crawls out, and does the classic yawn. Her little panties seem even smaller and the tee shirt still looks wet, but that’s beside the point.

  Without dressing, she runs to the cockpit of the ship and checks her instruments. (I won’t say it if you don’t.)

  She discovers she is almost to the Alien prison planet. Now what is she going to do? She looks quickly around nearby space for the intervention-of-the-machine (sounds better in Latin) that will end the story quickly, but she doesn’t spot one.

  Failing that, the plot must thicken like overripe soup.

  Loreina clicks on her screens and sneaks up on the Alien prison world. It just so happens that the entire Alien fleet is circling the prison planet. (Probably on vacation.)

  Loreina decides it would be suicidal not only to her, but to her lust for men who don’t wear shorts, if she went in alone. Probably get Sarah killed, too.

  She thought and thought and wracked her brain trying to figure out what to do. That wasn’t a pretty sight, even with her still in her bikini shorts and wet tee shirt.

  A smoking, ruined brain is never fun to look at.

  Finally, after two issues of Playmate of the Spaceways magazine and a good nights sleep, she realizes the answer has been right there in front of her in the story line all the time: Buckey, The Space Pirate.

  She and Buckey go way back. Her first true love.

  She loved his sabre.

  Only she went corporate and he stayed in the private business sector and it had all ended with a net loss. Why hadn’t she thought of him before? She used to think of him often, usually in the bathtub.

  She sat there in the Captain’s chair and thought about sitting in the bathtub and thinking about Buckey. Pretty soon she is thinking a lot about Buckey and her tee shirt is getting damper and damper and she is panting and it is right at this point, with her eyes closed, that Loreina utters the opening words of this section.

  (Bet you thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you?)

  After a few moments more of thinking, Loreina slowly comes around and realizes (before her hands turn this into a romance) that she’s not in the bathtub after all and that Sarah is still sitting down there in that stinking, dirt-floored, Alien p
rison waiting to be rescued.

  Buckey is the only hope.

  Loreina brushes her damp hair back out of her eyes, does a few quick calculations, and inserts the ship back into TWIT. Three quick days and she’d be with Buckey, The Space Pirate’s fleet.

  She did a few instrument checks, then headed for the bathroom. She wouldn’t deep sleep this time.

  She needed a long, long bath far more.

  And, as the door to the bathroom hisses softly closed, this story again does the correct thing and...

  (Pause.)

  “Don’t stop,” she panted.”

  Nice hook to the climax of the story, huh? My daddy would be proud of me.

  So, the tension builds. Where is Loreina now? Is Sarah still alive? Does Loreina get Buckey to help spring Sarah from the prison camp? Does Buckey wear underwear?

  Tough questions that must be answered in this section because this is the last damn chance.

  That’s right.

  No more pauses.

  If this were a standard science fiction story, this section would have opened with Loreina in the bathtub thinking of Buckey when (suddenly) alarm bells go off all over the ship.

  Of course, Loreina would have had time to struggle into clothes before facing the problem of one of Buckey’s ships attacking her ship. She would have finally gotten through to Buckey who would have saved her in the last moment so that they could both go rescue Sarah.

  Now that’s pure pulp story telling.

  But that’s not the way it happened. This is a liberated world, remember? Loreina has got to do it herself or it just won’t mean anything.

  On the third day of Loreina’s bath, she gets to Buckey’s home base and discovers from Buckey’s second-in-command, Fred, (who has a large nose, very white teeth, and a small part in this story) that while on a raiding mission on an Alien world, Buckey’s ship blew a warp and Buckey had been captured and was being held on the prison world. (Wow! That explains the entire Alien fleet being around the prison world much better than them just being there on shore leave.)